Ceremony
This is truly what it’s all about. Your union. Your commitment to each other through thick and thin. The vows. The rings. The kiss. You’re now Mr. and Mrs! Writing the order of events for your ceremony together is something so special.
Ceremony Structure
Be sure to get to know your pastor/officiant/priest well if you don’t already, and ask them what their approach is going to be so they go along with the feel you want your ceremony to have.
How long do you want your ceremony to be? Try to ensure it’s at least 20 minutes. Anything shorter feels like it’s rushed and dishonoring to the sacredness of the intention and reason for the day.
You’ll need to set the overall feel and structure for the ceremony. Typically it goes something like this, but you can feel free to edit and customize things however you want!
Processional
Greeting by the officiant
Message about marriage/the couple
Readings
Vows
Rings
The Kiss
Unity Ceremony (candle, knot-tying, tree-planting, etc.)
Final words
Announcement of Mr. & Mrs.
Recessional
Sit and talk with your officiant and help them get to know you better both individually and as a couple. Talk about aspects of your life that they could use in their message, including pieces of your past, present, and future both individually and together. Discuss hobbies you have, goals, dreams, and wishes you want to accomplish together moving forward. And even mention those who helped you get to where you are now along the way.
Personal Elements
Feel free to allow the elements of your ceremony to reflect your own unique style including the music, readings, and even the exit. Think about ways you can incorporate a little piece of yourselves as a couple into the style. If you want to go full-on classic and traditional, that’s beautiful too!
Managing Guests’ Expectations
You want to avoid confusion for your guests during any part of the day, especially if you’re incorporating unique details or structures (like no seating chart) they’ve never experienced before. Many people are used to a specific flow of a wedding day so if yours veers from that, be sure to instruct them in some way. For example, if you don’t have a specific “bride’s side” or “groom’s side” during the ceremony, have a sign that notes this, or someone (maybe the person handing out programs) at the entrance to let them know so it doesn’t create a ketchup bottle.
Vows
When it comes to the vows, don’t feel pressure to write your own. The vows we’ve all heard over and over and so unbelievably sacred and special. However, if you choose to write your own, don’t overthink them. Just be yourselves and let it flow. Don’t worry about who’s might be “better”, longer, who’s a better writer, funnier, or anything like that. Each of your vows will reflect the heart of who you are as an individual, which when combined together, makes you the couple you are. So again, just be yourself and let your heart-felt words flow out onto the page. Read them out loud and time yourself as you’re speaking. Try and stick to about 3 minutes at most. The rest can be written in a letter to each other. :)
Misc. Ceremony Tips
Kindly ask your officiant to step to the side when it’s time for the kiss so that the focus is on the two of you. And if possible, opt against having a microphone in between the two of you. It’s best to subtly wear one clipped to your clothing, or have the officiant hold the microphone for you. The least distracting, the better.
Unplugged Ceremonies
Personally, I don’t like them. It’s 2019 - let people have their devices! Part of the reason why our guests want to take pictures is because they are excited and want to remember the moments along with you! Also, God forbid aliens come abduct me on the way home from your wedding day and steal my camera and all of your images along with it - the pictures from your guests are all you’d have left! I always encourage it. Plus, I try and do my best to avoid photographing your ceremony while someone is holding up a giant iPad in the aisle and if they are, well ya know - you invited them and they’re part of the story of your wedding so they’re going to be in the shot, along with their huge digital screen and all. ;)
Recessional/Exit
Exits are so much fun after a ceremony, and make your recessional photos so fun and filled with celebration! Think about offering your guests confetti, flower petals, lavender, bubbles, or even streamers to toss or wave as you walk back down the aisle or exit the church.
Time Allotment: 15 to 60 minutes